Why almost everyone hates having their photo taken

You know the feeling. A camera is pointed at you and something in you changes at once. You no longer know where your hands are. You produce a smile you do not believe yourself. And afterwards, when you see the photo, you think: is this really what I look like?

You are not the only one. Almost everyone struggles with it. From people who never stand in front of a camera to people who have done it dozens of times. The discomfort of portrait photography is one of the most widely shared experiences there is. And yet we hardly ever talk about it.

This article does. Not to solve it, but to name it. Because it starts with recognition.

You are not stiff, the situation is

Picture this: someone you do not know well asks you to stand in front of them. You cannot lean on anything. You do not know how long it will take. And everything you do is recorded.

That is a strange situation. An unnatural one, even. People are not made to stand still while someone else looks at them and presses a button. We are made for conversation, movement, interaction. A portrait session takes you completely out of that.

The result is that you start playing yourself. You do what you think someone expects of you. You straighten your shoulders, put on your best smile and wait for it to be over. And that is exactly what you see back in the photo.

What then happens in the photo

A forced posture is visible. Not because you look strange, but because something is missing. Something that is normally always there: you.

The line of your shoulders is just a little too tight. Your eyes do not quite smile along. There is something in your face that says: I am waiting. And that is precisely the problem. Not that you are not photogenic. But that at that moment you are not present.

Charissa Promes, who had plenty of shoots behind her, put it this way afterwards: “I have done a lot of shoots, but these photos really were different. Purer and more personal. I have never seen myself like this before.”

That difference is not in the lens or the lighting. It is in what comes before the shoot.

It is not down to you

This is perhaps the most important thing you can take from this article. If you feel uncomfortable in front of a camera, that is not a personal failing. It is a logical reaction to a situation that simply is not very pleasant.

Most portrait sessions are too short, too businesslike and too little focused on the person in front of the camera. You are shown in, you get a few directions, photos are taken and you go home again. That can work for a quick headshot. But for a portrait that really says something? For that you need more.

More time. More calm. Someone who listens first before picking up a camera.

What a portrait actually asks for

A good portrait does not start at the moment the photographer presses the button. It starts much earlier. In the conversation. In the atmosphere that is already there before a single photo has been made.

If you feel at ease, you relax. And when you relax, the pose disappears. Then it becomes real.

Milan Walraven described it after his shoot like this: “From the very first moment Michiel created a relaxed and warm atmosphere. He really puts you completely at ease so as to bring out the best in you.”

That is not a by-product of a good shoot. That is the starting point.

Sound familiar?

Then it is worth knowing that it can be different. That there is a way of working where the photos do not feel like something you survived, but like something you experienced.

In a next post I go deeper into where that discomfort comes from and why it is so stubborn. Because once you understand what is happening, you can deal with it.

Do you recognise this feeling? Then PAUSE may be exactly what you are looking for. PAUSE is a portrait session of half a day, where the conversation comes before the camera. No hurry, no poses, but a portrait that is really yours. Read more about PAUSE.