It is not you, it is the situation

Last time we wrote about the feeling nearly everyone knows: that awkwardness when a camera is pointed at you. Today we go a step further. Because that feeling has a cause. And that cause is not in you.

Many people think they are simply not photogenic. That some people just come out well in photos and others do not. But that is not right. What is right: some people have got better at handling an artificial situation. And that is something else entirely.

What happens in your brain

The moment you know you are being photographed, your brain switches to a different mode. You become aware of yourself. Of your posture, your face, your hands. You start thinking about how you come across.

Psychologists call this self awareness in social situations. It is the reason your voice sounds different when you hear it recorded, or why you walk differently when you know people are watching. Your behaviour changes as soon as you know you are being observed.

With photography that effect is extra strong. Not only is someone looking at you, it is being recorded as well. Forever, or at least that is how it feels. And that only increases the pressure.

The camera as a mirror you do not trust

Something else is going on too. Most people have a distorted picture of what they look like. Not because they underestimate themselves, but because they always see themselves in the mirror. And a mirror shows a mirror image, literally.

In a photo you see yourself as others see you. And that is a different experience. Things you find normal in the mirror suddenly feel strange in a photo. Your hair falls differently. Your smile is on the wrong side. Your face is not symmetrical, because no face is.

That is why many people reject their own portraits without knowing quite why. It is technically right, but it does not feel right. And that feeling has everything to do with recognition, not with quality.

The short session makes it worse

Most portrait sessions are short. Twenty minutes, half an hour. You come in, you are positioned, photos are taken and off you go. That model works for passport photos. But for a portrait that really shows something of who you are, it is far too little.

In those first twenty minutes in front of the camera you are still acclimatising. You are getting used to the light, to the photographer being there, to the idea that you are being photographed. You are not yourself yet.

Nicky Colen described the difference a different approach makes very well: “First we had good conversations, from serious to helpless laughter, and only afterwards did the camera come out. It is remarkable how a different approach makes you more relaxed in a photo.”

That is exactly what is missing in the standard session: the time to land.

What this means for your photos

If you recognise yourself in the above, know this: the photos you have had taken so far do not show what you look like. They show what you look like when you are tense and do not know what to do.

That is a big difference.

A portrait that is right asks for a situation in which you lose that tension. In which you stop thinking about your posture or your smile and are simply present. And that takes time. Calm. And a photographer who understands that.

Kristina Baskakova put it this way afterwards: “He's managed to calm the storm with which I've arrived to his studio just by being him.”

Sometimes not much has to happen. Sometimes the right atmosphere is enough on its own.

In the next post

We are going to talk about what really makes a portrait good. And the answer has nothing to do with a beautiful face or the right lighting. It has to do with something far less tangible, and all the more visible in the photo.

A portrait session does not have to be uncomfortable. At PAUSE we start with a conversation and the camera only comes out when you are ready for it. Simply taking the time, and seeing what emerges. Find out how PAUSE works.